Having said that, I’m still looking for substance over style. As long as the postings continue to have valid content, I will be happy – personality-infused or not.

Further thoughts (just to mull over): If you were a straight man writing the same article about Mrs Right 5.0, I don’t think anyone would think it was that personal. It is the “gay angle” that turns it into a potential “issue article”.

I’ve been fortunate to work with colleagues in the communication industry who are absolutely brilliant in what they do and know, but whose personal lives seem to have at least one characteristic that is a shambles. (I think I’m aware of, but still in denial of mine.)

In my observation of these friends, I’ve wondered what the outcome might be if each did an audience/user needs assessment at a professional and personal level. Would defining one’s goals and the “musts” and “high wants” to achieve those goals help create a plan of action? Of course, whether professionally or personally, one should never forget the human element/relationship in all aspects of the process or journey (sometimes incredible things just happen).

I believe we need to bring every facet of ourselves into the workplace to be fully productive in a professional environment. Every once in a while, it’s also a good idea to bring a little work home with you.

Thanks for helping us know you better on a personal level. For what it’s worth, the relationship issues you describe are ubiquitous, regardless of whether that relationship is straight or gay. Some would argue that it’s precisely these experiences that help us to become the people we are supposed to be. The good news is that you have evolved your choices and recognize that.(5.0 was significantly better than previous versions, for e.g….)

“Wisdom comes from experience, experience usually comes from something painful or stupid that we do.” (can’t remember the exact quote or who said it)

A book you might find helpful (I certainly did) is “Your Heart’s Desire” by Sonia Choquette. Helps identify want you really need and want….I’m marrying my heart’s desire in July and couldn’t be happier (first marriage at 43, so I understand your angst.)

In the past, I remember taking whatever project would come along without really wondering about the ‘fit’ of my organization’s offerings and our culture to the prospective customer. Today, we find it much more pleasurable to work with customers that are a great fit with regard to the technologies we support, the vertical markets we are expert in, and the project management protocols that we’re comfortable with.

On a personal note, straight guys pick their Relationships X.0 based on looks and other external attributes too. So congrats, you’re a human being

Another impact of my publishing this post is increased attention to The Content Wrangler site. During the first 24 hours that the post has been online, it’s received far more than 3,000 hits. And, the number of new subscribers has jumped from an average of 15 a day to over 100.

That said, I have not examined the impact on the average unsubscribe rate. We may have lost some folks along the way as well. Time will tell.

Traffic has also increased at our sister site, The Content Wrangler Community (http://thecongtentwrangler.ning.com). New memberships are up 70% over the same time last week.

And, of course, my inbox is hopping. Some folks don’t feel comfortable sharing in a public forum and many of those comments have been directly to my personal inbox.

If I were to do a little detective work, I’d imagine other bloggers are pointing to the article and opening the entire site up to a new audience who may find other posts of interest (not just this one).

Just thought I’d share these observations with everyone.

Nice post!  I hope all goes well in work and life for you.

A couple of years ago I worked with a friend and we outlined what I really wanted from a relationship.  It helped to write it down, think it through, and determine what I really wanted and what the “bullet points” were.  Taking that kind of analytical, business attitude helped evaluate my situation.  Within a month, I’d met a great guy who synced with me on all of those points, and I with him.  Happily married now, and hope you can reach the same point.

Take care,

Kay

I work hard to find a balance for how much of my personal life to reveal and determining which of my opinions are worthwhile to reveal. I’ve also been fortunate to have some excellent coaches from the talk.bmc staff while finding my way.

A little transparency about your background and experiences can go a long way. Whether it’s Tom talking frankly about the reactions he gets to a name tag that identifies him as working for the Church of Latter Day Saints to my posting a gushing mommy post after returning from maternity leave, us bloggers are able to give some personality between the lines while describing and analyzing the work we do. Thanks for a willingness to reveal the blend of your personal and professional lives.

Oh, and I’m with Sarah – watch out for Mr. Vista!

Great post. You did a fine job of relating your personal experiences with the problems that companies face trying to find the right consultant/employee/technology/whatever else.

It’s difficult to use personal experience as a launching point for an analogy about the needs of a client or about one’s own professional life. I’ve tried this on occasion, and am not quite sure that I’ve succeeded. You, as usual, hit it.

This post was a nice change from what we usually see in this space. I hope that in the coming weeks and months you combine the usual fare found on The Content Wrangler with more posts like this one.

Scott

Mr. Right is out there, and the best way to find him is through your personal (and business) network. A warm referral from someone who knows you both is much more likely to succeed than blind dating. Or, in context: a warm referral from someone that knows you, and knows the challenges facing Company X, is much more likely to result in a hiring opportunity than sending out 50 resumes a week to people who don’t know you from Adam.

And in the spirit of learning lessons from the personal, and applying them to business: one of my favorite management books is titled: “Peanut Butter and Jelly Management” – subtitled ‘lessons from parenting’.

Scott, you’ve proven time and time again that you’re consistently ahead of the curve; this post is no different. I found my Mrs. Right on the Internet, and moved 7200 miles to marry her. Let that inspire you.

e